Sunday, December 8, 2013

A Type Of Warmth In The Frost

Yellow flowers grow
in the frost of December.
Dim beginnings
of something beautiful.

Nurture the tender feelings
that strike you
and remind you
that you're a good person.

A moment can be everything.
There are dim beginnings
glowing brighter
inside us
if we take the time to notice.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Late Week Nights When I'm 20

I always end up here
like this.

My bed that's too big.
Candles filling my room
with the scent of wax.
Dark windows outside.
A worn book in my hands.

These are my late nights.
Just for me.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Familiar Strangers

Sometimes
you feel like you know someone
even if you don't.

Even if you've never spoken to them,
sometimes the way they are
speaks to you.

Facial expressions, clothing,
a familiar face of someone else.

Strangers can give us a warmth
unaware.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

October 6th, 2013

Laying on my bed
with knots in my back
enjoying the cool breeze
of the last warm day.

Yellow trees outside.
French verbs in my head.
Here I am
in the middle
of my 20th year of existence.

I bet I'll look back
and miss my youth.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Faded Magic

Worn fairy tale books.
Remnants
of when I believed
in magic.

Fallen glitter.
Faded photos
of my baby face.

Where is that part of me?

All that's left
now are memories
and remnants.

Drunk and Out In Eugene

Polychromatic visions
blending into each other.

Bleeding feet,
cold arms,
wide smiles,
diamond eyes.

Worlds colliding
and a warm fuzzy feeling
in the pit of my stomach.

Everyone is my best friend
now.

There's Some Good In This World And It's You

You are how I feel
when I see all the goodness
and I feel like time
will never run out
and I'll live forever.

You are my feeling
of wonder
for the world.

When did I turn
into this sappy
cheesy
lovesick fool?

Who knew
one person
could alter
a universe?
Or turn such a
cynical girl
into an optimist?
But you have.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The End Of The Line

The old lay dying
peacefully
in worn armchairs.
In floral shirts
and tweed jackets.

The old
with paper white skin
and maps of wrinkles.
Tired voices.
Forgotten by almost all.

This is how it all ends.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Only Static

Waiting around
for the distinct ping
on my screen.

Torture when the liquid fire
is in me.

Nothing.

Nothing.

I listen for it
but only the static
of my television.

Nothing.

Does this last an eternity?

Let The Pink Wine Flow

In the bath
touching my round breasts
drinking French pink wine.
Hot water forever.
I think about the books
on my shelves.
I think about…
The love of my life
and why I can't
just be normal.

The wine is gone…
The wine is gone too often.

Looking From The Inside Out

What defines me?
My manipulated looks?
The words I spew?
The pop culture I'm force fed?
My mistakes?

No one will ever know
the torture of my mind.

There is freedom greater
than any here...
But darkness too.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

We Learn How To Be Unselfish

Forgive me.

I am selfish.

The naive
don't know
of other's pain.

I am young
and still learning.

I don't know
of the dagger
in my hand.

Or the blood
most have hidden
on their hands.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Lilting Visions

Foxes play
in the corners
of my mind.

I see the world
through a reflection
through the surface
of a lake.
Suppressed memories
sink.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Ugliness Is A Part Of The Human Condition

No one looks good every day.
Women walk around
parading
cosmetic illusions.
Pretending to be a fantasy.

But on off days
we all look like creatures.
Everybody has days
where they didn't sleep
and barely look human.
Sometimes we are all a shell
of our real selves.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Out Of My Comfort Zone: My Venture Into The World Of Basketball

    Most people would describe me as very feminine. I'd describe myself this way too. I ski, I play tennis, I have a PS3, but I prefer makeup, fashion, and reading. I never played group sports and I never watched sports. This changed when I started dating Ryan around 3 years ago.
    Ryan is the type of guy whose world revolves around sports. He was a champion lacrosse player in high school. The first year of dating him I put up with hours of ESPN and games. I got to know the various sportscasters but I just made fun of them in my head. I watched games but I didn't take sports seriously. I liked basketball because it was more fast-paced but I didn't care about teams.
----

    I actually grew up with a photograph of Michael Jordan and Clyde Drexler hanging in my bedroom. It was a photograph my mother took. She was a sports photographer, specializing in basketball and golf. I never gave the photograph much consideration. I just liked Michael Jordan because of Space Jam.

    My love for basketball came slowly but surely. A few Blazers games in Portland, watching the NBA finals, and following March Madness. This past year I developed a real love for the NBA. I also got pretty, pretty good at NBA 2K13, a gift I gave Ryan. I watched the whole basketball season and I yelled as teams and players struggled and celebrated as they triumphed.
    I now have a genuine love and appreciation for basketball. I can appreciate my photograph of Michael Jordan because I've watched some of his old games and understand how talented he is.
    My discovery of basketball has made me learn a lot about myself. It has opened up a world of possibilities for me. There are numerous subjects I want to become knowledgeable in now; not just sports either. My venture into the world of basketball shows I can expand my interests and understand, with time, things completely foreign to me. 

Monday, August 5, 2013

A New Requirement For Brands: Social Responsibility


            In the world today, we live our lives integrated with iPhones, iconic product images on our shirts, and equivalent foods sitting in our cupboards. Consumers value an aspect of the brand, usually the quality of the product, to give it their money. Brands have become a part of our identity and are a major part in how we define ourselves. There is a differentiation between who "bings" rather than "googles" something. You now "iMessage" someone. Wearing a certain brand or label now clearly illustrates an individual's financial situation. Someone who carries a Prada bag depicts a life of luxury and that they have a lifestyle that supports the purchasing of high priced items. Some people buy only organic or green products and are viewed as environmentally conscious. What we decide to spend our money on is part of who we are. The relationship between consumer and brand is a partnership. It is mutually beneficial and because of this, the brand has a responsibility to the consumer. The consumer holds the power because they have a choice in what brand to choose. The brand is thus dependent on the demands of the general public and the consumer, at the same time, they must be honest in their selling point, or put up a front of honesty because consumers don’t like to know they’re being swindled. The brand is reliant upon the consumer for money and in order to be successful, the brand owes it to the consumer to consider their best interest and the public's best interest as a whole.
            Brands are business entities that exist in the world, but they are still derived from people who work to promote and manufacture the product as well as run the company. They exist of people and so they should be concerned with people's best interest. A brand, or company, is essentially made up of people cloaked behind a label or iconic image; thus, they should promote their product in a manner that is consistent with both the manufacturer's belief and the wants/beliefs of the general public. To show their consumers they care, they promote themselves as having human characteristics. They aim to have character and personality. Coca-Cola describes itself as " a responsible citizen" and states its mission as "To refresh the world...To inspire moments of optimism and happiness...To create value and make a difference." (Coca-Cola Company). They market themselves as a very relatable company. Companies often strip down and try and show they are “human” or family oriented. For example, Johnson & Johnson – their slogan is “A Family Company”. They don’t just do this to illustrate their care and concern for the world, but their idea of inspiration also appeals to the masses.
            The economy is built on the principle of a free market, where the majority of "production, distribution, and exchange is controlled by individuals and privately owned corporations" (Houghton Mifflin Company). This allows for competition, which results in better products for consumers, and therefore more social good. A real example of this benefit is the brand Method, which has "safe and effective home and personal cleaning products derived from natural ingredients... the products come in environmentally responsible, biodegradable packaging." (Liodice). Not only does competition force companies to make better products, it also prompts them to do good. Consumers have so many choices that a brand must stand out. One way to do this is memorable advertising, but another way is to impact and effect society itself. Pedigree boosted its brand in the eyes of pet-owners when it made a goal in 2009 to "distribute $1.5 million in grants to 1,000 shelters and breed rescues" (Liodice). Brands who are affiliated with a charity that serves to better society like this earn more respect in the public's eyes and that is only good for business. Nike had to earn back their customer's trust after it became public that they used sweatshops. The effect a brand has in the real world directly affects their revenue.
            The majority of companies in 2012 "issued a CSR or sustainability report" and "more than 8,000 businesses around the world have signed the UN Global Compact pledging to show good global citizenship in the areas of human rights, labor standards and environmental protection." (Knowledge At Wharton). Companies that represent our favorite products, from lip balm to cars, understand that they need to take part in corporate social responsibility. There has been a rising green movement for the past few years and it is only the beginning. Brands need to be socially responsible in order to compete. It's a responsibility they now have because we have demanded it of them.







Works Cited

Coca-Cola Company. "Mission, Vision & Values." The Coca-Cola Company. Web.

Houghton Mifflin Company. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language. 3rd ed. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2005. Print.

Knowledge At Wharton. "Why Companies Can No Longer Afford to Ignore Their Social Responsibilities." Time Business & Money. Time, 28 May 2012. Web.

Liodice, Bob. "10 Companies With Social Responsibility At The Core." Advertising Age: CMO Strategy. Ad Age, 19 Apr. 2010. Web.

Friday, July 12, 2013

So Many Mirrors

Mirrors go on and on.
Alternate realities
lay just out of reach.

People pretend
to be other versions
of themselves.

I stare at the hundreds
of possibilities
I can envision.
Intangible.

No one sees what I see.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Made Up Dolls

Pin up girls
dance in my head
taunting me.

Curves sway
and they wink
teasingly.

But beauty fades.
The power
only lasts so long.

Death On The Tip Of My Tongue

I feel it as a twinge.
The painful reminder
in the back of my mind
that time runs out,
my loved ones will die,
I will die.

I will die.

I will die.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Far From Here

I dream of the Greek Islands.
I want blue skies
and blue waters.

I want to sit and stare
at ease.

Picturesque places
where no bad
seems to exist.

Maybe
things are better there.

Those To Hold On To

Stay close
to the people
who read at night.

Stay close
to the people
with wanderlust.

Stay close
to the people
with impossible ideas.

Stay close
to the people
who appreciate true beauty.

Stay close because
they make life better.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Another Weekend Evening

Spilling fifths,
overflowing ashtrays,
a sticky green haze.

I sip whiskey
on ice
and let the cubes
roll around
my tongue.

The hum
of conversation
and my favorite song
lull me into
a warm happiness.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

It Will Be As If I Never Existed

I remember it all.
The winters of my youth.

But who am I?
Scientifically speaking,
I will be dead
and my body will burn
into ashes
or rot and decompose
underground
in a coffin.

Memories of me
will die out
and I will be defeated
by time.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Corruption

Lungs hacking up
grime.

Black goop
from factories
inside these fragile
bodies.

Polluted
minds swimming
in oil
and smoke.

Days Burn Away

Days burn away.
We are left with embers.
But there is no pain
in this fire.

Days burn and burn
with the sweetest scent.
It intoxicates
as time is lit.

Days burn away.
We are left confused
by smoke.
Days burn away.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Nostalgic Songs

Songs
where you just sit back
and listen
and feel
and go on a journey.

That's the kind of music
I like.

Songs
where I'm back
as a teenager
or a child
in an instant.

Living In The Year 2013

The modern world
is watching an airplane
make a trail
in the sky
miles above you.


The modern world
is thousands of people
staring at screens
in their hands
as they walk on the street.


The modern world
is watching someone
fifty years ago
acting
on your television screen today.

The modern world
is being on that airplane
and being halfway
around the world
in less than a day.

"Cunt"

"Cunt"
The word comes
with a belch of alcohol
the stink of tobacco.

My ears bleed.

Decaying breath
hisses
"cunt"
from an ugly mouth.

My ears bleed.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

A Nation of Believers

Politics on television
as the livestock
pretend to care.

The stink
of lies
permeates
the whole nation.

No resistance.
The drugs
have been injected
into the drowsy
and the trusting.

What a shame.

Sluts

Rotting bodies
Splashed with toxic cocktails.

Dead eyes,
Greasy hair,
All covered with makeup.

Egocentric succubuses
Killing others slowly.
Betrayal, their religion.

The ugliness smothered
With tight dresses
And concealer.
Painted claws.

Men plunging into them
Fucking them
Unaware she is a
Sewer overflowing.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

3 AM Phone Calls

Drunken phone calls
from the love of my life.
It's 3 am,
I can't sleep.

His voice is gentle
"I can't live without you"
"I have more fun
when I'm with you."

But here I am by myself.
At least I've got love.
Thank god I love
and am loved in return.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Sense Of Comfort

Creaky doors,
dark wood,
heavy old quilts,
I can hear rain.

Here, I am safe.
I am warm.
I belong.
My nook of the world.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Every Night

I lay in my soft bed.
Sinking in.
I prepare myself for the death
of the night.

The death of my unconsciousness.

The nothingness
covers me
and I travel
in my death.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Passage From My Novel


            The orange cat screeches to be let out as a man with thinning hair guzzles a Miller Lite then crushes the empty beer can in his hand. He lets out a loud burp that lasts a few seconds. The cat looks up at him, un-amused and meows again in a hostile manner.
            "Alright, alright you mongrel." he mumbles and opens the screen door which has several small holes in it. It is pitch black outside.
            He sits back down in a worn reclining chair in front of an old television. What he doesn't know is that Tom has been waiting inside his house for hours. The time hasn't bothered Tom. Adrenaline shoots through his veins. His mind is racing.
            Tom creeps up behind the man. A corny commercial for an auto dealership plays on the television. The man scratches at his gut.
            "Come on down!" The TV screams jarringly to Tom's ears. Tom slips the needle into the man's neck and injects him with shaking hands. The man is woozy before he can even notice anyone else is there.
            "Shit." The man slaps at his neck but Tom is swift and steps back with the now used needle. "Something must've bit me." The man's words start to slur as the tranquilizer takes effect. Within a minute he is out cold.
            Tom takes off his black skiing mask and slaps the man to make sure he's really out. A smile of pure evil creeps onto his face. He takes out a pair of pliers and pulls one of the man's teeth out.
----
            The man is drugged and Trevor puts him into the room. Everyone sits watching through the thick glass, above the room. Fifteen minutes pass and he still hasn't woken up.
            Ashley sits clinging to Trevor's arm. Georgia is staring at the wall and her gaze directly avoids the view of the room. Tom is sitting with his head propped up on his hands, his elbows on his knees. He is as close to the glass as he can get.
            "Hey babe, you okay?" Tom turns and notices Georgia. He brushes her hair out of her face.
            "I took like fifteen bong rips. I can't deal with your psycho shit unless I'm high." She turns to him and her eyes are bright red.
            "Come on. This guy deserves it. And besides who knows he could die tomorrow in a car crash or from a heart attack." Ashley says.
            "Yeah look at that fat-ass pedophile." Trevor says, squeezing Ashley's arm, surprised at how skinny it is.
            "I hate this. How do you know he deserves this? I don't want to watch."
            "I checked online. This guy is a child molester. He got off on a technicality, the cops fucked up." Forrest says.
            "That doesn't mean he deserves this." Georgia tries to reason.
            "Um, I checked his phone. He had pictures of naked five year olds."
            The man below slowly awakens. He's groggy and looks completely confused.
            "Should we tell him what's going on?" Trevor asks Tom.
            "I mean we can if we want to. I have an intercom button on this." Tom holds up the remote he had specially made with all the features of the room. "I don't know though. It might be more fun to surprise him."
            A classic rock n roll song starts playing both in the viewing room and the room below as Tom presses a button. All eyes, even Georgia's, are fixed on the man.
            The man has been scaling the walls trying to find an escape. He has no idea where he is. But he knows waking up in an all white room with a door with no visible way of opening it is not a good sign. He can't remember being drugged. The last he can recall he was in his car about to leave the bar.
            The music starts to play and the man looks around to see where it's coming from. Then the silver doors open like an elevator and there is Viduss. The man is like a deer in headlights. It comes down to prey and predator.
            "What the fuck is fucking going?" The man screams, "Is this a sick joke?"
            "Viduss' eyes are focused on the man. His nose is sniffing his scent, his flesh. The lion slowly walks forward. The doors close behind him as Tom presses a button. The man pisses himself as Viduss gets closer. He is huge and the look in his eye, his behavior, tells him that this creature considers him food.
            "Look! The fucker pissed himself!" Trevor exclaims.
            "Can you turn off the sound from the room? I'd rather not hear his screaming and his bones being broken." Georgia says.
            "Yeah. I think that's a little too much for me too. The blood alone is going to make me queasy." Ashley says.
            Georgia's heart is racing. The adrenaline is making her head woozy. She can feel the fruit juice she's drinking sticky on her tongue. She can feel her heart beat and feel her skin grow clammy.
            "Pussies." Tom sneers but he turns the sound off anyway. The sound from the room is turned off and all they can hear is the music. It turns out to be perfect timing because a half a minute later Viduss pounces and goes in for the man's throat. Tom smirks.
----
            After Viduss is done with the unsettling part of killing the man he begins the only slightly less unsettling process of eating him. The others leave the room but Tom stays his eyes intensely watching. Viduss gnaws on the leg. The body is beginning to be unrecognizable. All the goopy white fat and flab disgusts Tom. The pedophile has been reduced to nothing more than muscle and blood, nothing more than a mash of organs and bones.
            Viduss eats nearly all of the man. He is stuffed and walks back slowly to his lair, his home. Tom closes the metal door after him. He walks down the staircase leading to the room and puts on a plastic body suit and rubber gloves. He opens the door. The raw scent of blood and gore surprises him. He has never been around a body this mangled before. It is surreal.
            Tom packages the rest of the body that he knows Viduss will eat. Those will go into the freezer for a later meal. Then there is nothing but bones and the mangled head left. He puts those into a body bag. The floor is entirely crimson. Blood is everywhere.
            Tom stands a moment to admire it then he takes the hose from the hallway dragging it into the room and begins spraying the floor clean. The blood disappears down the drain in the middle of the room. When he is done it looks like nothing ever happened. He plays the tooth in his pocket, rolling it between his fingers. 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Too Much White Noise

I can hear a television
in another apartment
vomiting mindless bullshit.
I can hear the cars outside.

The dimming white light
through my blinds
distracts me.

I am alone.
No phone calls
no text messages.

I am aware
of my breath
and my heartbeat.

All I wish is to be with him.
And away from my solitude
and the white noise
that fills up the air.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Portland Mirage

Easy days
looking out
over the Portland skyline.

Cold drinks in hot hands.
Itchy grass.
Heat filling up my lungs.
The faint buzz of insects.

Lazy days
looking out
over the Portland skyline.

Industrial Landscape

The city watches.
Hidden eyes.
Cracks in the sidewalk.
Distant lighted windows.
Shadows moving.

You are never alone here.
The silence is misleading.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

My Illusions

I live in a fantasy
of my own creation.

I tilt the world
on its side.

My vision is rosy.
I see things distorted
in a pleasant way.

Keep the negativity out.
This is my world.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I love you, I love you, I love you

Can words lose their meaning?

How many
I love yous
until I love you
becomes ordinary?

I don't know
any other way to express
the depth of my feelings
for you.

Just know
I mean every
I love you
like it is the first
and I can't contain it
any longer.
Even a million
I love yous
from now.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

A Friend From The Past Withered

The drawl sucks me in.
The smoke and the tilt
of her words.

Sunken darkened eyes.
She speaks of
her curse.

A glimpse into
a crystal ball.
What might have been.

I leave her behind
for the light and air
of my life.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Growing Up

Models on tv,
joint in my hand.

Endless medication,
bottles shake.

I observe everything
with distant eyes.

I reach out to the void.

Wilted Flowers

What could have been
is now only a memory.
Promise lost.

We've been corrupted.
Mold has grown
on potential.
Withered control.

All disintegrates
into death.

How Did This Happen?

Mint tea soothing my throat
which aches
with hoarse truths
and pleas.

Desperation
has taken its toll.

I miss the days
when my tongue wasn't burned.

I miss you.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Shots of Alcohol & Bad Music

Drowning sorrows
the 80 proof way.

Too much makeup.
Too much skin seen.

Inauthentic words.
Everything shadowed
by a blurred mind.

It brings out the devil
in all of us.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Consumer-Friendly Lives

People like to be trapped
in consumer-friendly lives
and grocery aisles.

Eyes transfixed
on television screens
and smart phones.

There is everything
to know about the world
but we only view it
through pixels.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Zombie Apocalypse

The sunday best clothes
they were laid to rest in
will be tattered
and eventually grow stained
with the blood and guts
of their victims.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Peach Skin Ripe

A body bursting
with sweet nectar.
Peach skin
ripe.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Sundays

On Sundays I sleep in,
as if in hibernation,
a warm burrow,
a warm womb,
a warm cave.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Life Doesn't Come in Neat Packages

The human view of time
is in neat little packages.
Days and months and years.

The funny thing is
life doesn't come in neat packages
at all.

It's more like an abstract painting
where colors have been splayed
upon the canvas
at random.

Education

My eye is dry.
It feels like my eyes have sunk in
and anyone looking at me
sees dark purple circles.

I cannot focus.

I want to be away from here
but instead I'm forced to sit here
listening and doing the bidding
of teachers.
Who knows if they deserve
my attention.
They're probably nothing special,
the majority are assholes.

Dreaded Mornings

Upon waking
there is confusion.
I remain half in my dream state.
My mind still there
in that alternate world.

I force myself out of my kingsized bed
and into a hot shower.
But I am still in a trance.

My morning routines
are of no pleasure to me.
I'd prefer to keep dreaming
for at least, a little longer.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Growing Up

The jolt of adulthood
is so sudden.

As the harsh and desolate
realities become known,
childhood is idealized.


Once innocence is lost
it can never be regained.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Bodies Quiver

Forests of velvet friction.

Honey trickles between my legs.

The flesh between my teeth
tastes better
than the words in my mouth.


Old Books

The words of the dead
swim on the written page.

I drink the whole ocean in.

The words dance
on old yellowed pages
for me.

Friday, February 1, 2013

A New Mindset

The days flicker away.
A new month appears
on the calender.
What will I make of it?
Will I be different
after these 28 days of February?
What fates and misfortunes will befall me?

I lie on my bed shivering.
I close my eyes tight
and I expel the negative thoughts.
Think positive.
Think optimistic.
It's all I can do.

A Sad Sort of Ache

Bitter words
recoiling.
Desperate tears.
And something
I can't see
tearing at my heart strings.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Morning

Nestled deep,
The paleness encroaches.
Bleary eyes,
shaken out of distant lands
and distant times.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Inked Prophecies

Inked prophecies.

The future looms,
What will come to be
is not known.

Yet I scrawl wishes
hoping they will come to be.
I believe that I can do it all.
Intentions always good.
I am always trying.

Sometimes I wish
I had a crystal ball.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Winter

Frost
on your fingertips.
Breaths like smoke.
Coldness.

I just want to keep you warm.
Next to me.
I just want to stay.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

It is Effortless for Them

Here I am
with downcast eyes
and a quiet tongue.
My thoughts rush and flow.

It isn't hard for them.
Dull banter.
Friendships made
over shots and weed.
Drunken antics
with strangers.

Who enjoys gin
and conversing about
life and death and meaning?
Those are the people for me.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Cruelty

The tongue slithers and twists.
White lies evaporate.
Vacant eyes.
Vacant thoughts.
There is no meaning here.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Silly Girl In Love

Old movies play.
I put on makeup.
The oven chimes
with cupcakes.


I wish on stars.
I believe the little things
make a difference.

I wear the necklace
he gave me.
It's attached to me.


I love a bit too much.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

After Sunset

The street lamps string off into the distance.
My heart is heavy.
I wonder how long they go on for.
Everything else is dark.
The night sky blends into itself.
Blue depth.
The trees are all barren, black against the sky.
My heart is heavy.