I shudder in the dark night air, toss and turn, and roam aimlessly. There’s a sense I’ve missed something. The sense that it all passed me by, oh so fast. And now it is difficult to recall the exact details and dates and sensations. Everything has seemed to come undone. I can’t find the meaning of my dreams. I can’t quite pinpoint the meaning of anything. The smoke burns my lungs, my thoughts, and all I’m doing is smoking the memories of days past. The world is in the grimy gutter looking up at the elusive stars while I look on from afar. My knees are bleeding from battle wounds and my angel wings are holy. My blood tastes like betrayal and empty words. While my skin and mouth taste like sugar and ecstasy. Everyone around me is trying to find lines and excuses. They’re apologizing to my vacant face and weary insides. Their faces are a blur. I spend nights wandering the suburban streets, staring down at sidewalks, staring up at streetlamps. The voices are getting louder and my heartbeat is quickly becoming steadier. As I wait for the time to pass. I am awaiting the next sunset and forgetting the past.
